My dream last night

I was driving with Stacy in the car. We were driving through a very dark daytime storm. You know those storms that just give you that eerie feeling? Well up ahead, probably a few miles in the distance were 3 tornadoes. I think it was 3. The amount of them is a bit hazy in my brain, but it was more than 1 and less than 5 for sure. Everyone else around us were frantically stopping, making 3 point turns, and driving in the other direction. This is a bit hazy but Stacy was also telling me to turn around. She wasnt' yelling like you would think, just saying what I think was "baby, shouldn't we going the other way??"

I don't know what the inner sybolism was, what it means, etc but...

I would not drive away. This is specifically remember. I smiled at her, chuckled to myself, and said "No way, I know what I'm doing. Trust me! We're doing the right thing going towards them."

You know how in a dream, the thing you always remember most is the emotion or feeling you are feeling? I had this overwhelming feeling of comfort. I can't remember ever feeling so comforted in my whole life, like being an infant again. I felt no immediate danger, no temerity in my decision. Perhaps this is how I live my life already anyway, I should have stayed asleep for the ending result.

But like faith, I don't need to.

Your house is on fire...

"You wake up in the morning, your paint's peeling, your curtains are gone, and the water is boiling. Which problem do you deal with first?"

I feel like so many people I meet live their life this way. Maybe that's not fair, I guess the description would be that they chooose their perspective to be this way. It's unnerving on many levels, especially if you're into politics...but I shan't go there.

Whatever happened to fighting your demons head on? Whatever happened to being absolutely up front with people? I can't tell you how many "professionals" from different walks of life I've met who don't have the stones to do the adult thing at any given moment of any day. Beyond that, people just try and find shortcuts, or strange solutions to obvious problems. Giving examples would be patronizing to anyone who actually reads this, so I'm going to happily assume you know the sort of things I'm referring to.

Now I'm not saying I fix everything in my life. Please. I'm just under the illusion that anything has easy fixes.

Ever the less obvious...

You can't fix tiny details on a house that's burning down. You have to put out the fire. The details come later.

Well it's been a long time comin'...

I feel like the stranglehold has been lifted. I have never stopped playing guitar, but sometimes I don't connect it away from rehearsal/stage. It's been hard to play at home the last year or so. There's a few reasons.

Main one- I really do hate my job, THAT much. For those who haven't done it or worked there, it's hard to explain. It numbs me to the point of apathy in my whole life. It sucks. Tonight I was watching the "Crossroads" festival with Stacy...Normally not her cup of tea exactly, but she enjoyed watching it with me and finally opened up with: "Hmm, wow, Jonny lang is sexy." I approve of this. Then it dawned on me that she sees me this way too. I guess that was enough, I opened up. I can't wait to play tomorrow.

haven't written in years, this may be rough

Hold the lines
while delve into the waters
of humility and trust.
Wading in the waters
that have not yet been troubled,
I step on the stones
that have been tiptoed before.
There is a freedom in the imperfections
and the struggle of riverbed.
Slowing down the river now,
bruising my feet in my journey,
I find not a soul to be shaken,
not a weight to be lifted,
only a slap to the gifted,
saying awake from your slumber.

Rise and Rise again until lambs become lions

I've fallen down many times living in Nashville. Nothing embodies the struggle of life and how I feel about my journey better than that quote. Rise and rise again until lambs become lions. I've had my heart broken many times in different facets of my life. That seems to be a thing all the past. I've been kicked in the face basically any angle you look at it.

Maybe it's true what my mom always said about me. I was the happiest, most full of joy boy in the world. Maybe that disposition has kept me going all this time. Or maybe I just watched "Rudy" too many times and was too stubborn to go home.

I'm not going to hide from it anymore. My next battle is with my weight. I don't plan on losing this one either.

Rise and Rise again until lambs become lions.

Riding the high, let's chase it.

After a pretty long trek home, we are all I think still soaking in the absolutely wonderful weekend we just experienced. I could say so many things about this that I'm sure all are running through everyone's minds. We have something special. There are good bands out there, and there are good people out in the world. However I am willing to put my heart into the statement that there are not a lot of musicians/bands/artists who have and are both. I have never worked with a better group of musicians, and I have also never had such good friends. Part of maximizing our potential, is taking our bond and building on it and growing with it. Like all things, what you do outside of your vocation affects your vocation. It's a beautiful symbiotic circle when you pour yourself into it.

There's no reason at all, that this doesn't work in our favor. Just play and feel with your heart inside the music and out, and every single one of us will feed off of each other for our entire careers. .

Erin, our shining star and point forward (for my fellow NBA fans) I think I can speak for all of us in saying there's not a better singer and person to work with as a figure head and spectacle. You're talented, and beautiful. When I say beautiful, I refer to your heart, we all know you're beautiful on the outside.

Boys: EJ, Andy, Adam...We are lions. Let us remain humble but confident and we will be who we want to be. We will be remembered and talked about. Rise and rise again until lambs become lions.

Stacy: I'll tell you later :)
Great weekend, great weekend.

Ichigo Ichie

Ichigo Ichie means "one time, one meeting." Meaning an opportunity for experience that will never come again. Today my friends, we revel in this. This is one day, and our Cain's Ballroom show. We are very excited and despite Erin's voice being very aggravated by allergies and sinuses (my eyes are watering like crazy, allergies are bad today!) we will bring what we do to the table. We are always trying to master our craft, be better, be more our true selves. We are always striving for virtuosity.

The funny thing about that word, virtuosity, is that people tend to define is as amazing playing. A consummate mastery of musical technique and artistry. Looked over, is the word "virtue" in the word. When one plays music and art, it's usually a collaboration and sharing of expression. May we always remember that true virtuosity is how you play with other people, treat people, and treat yourself.

Let's play.

First "road" show. Of sorts.

Well technically we aren't what you call "on the road." We did travel here with a tow with our equipment in stow, and traveled so...hell with it, I'm calling it this!

Don't have too much time to edit or put this in any form of real cohesion, so much apologies. Erin Ashleigh and A Fifth of Jack have arrived here in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I am grateful for many things. Stacy got to come along which is my most grateful of things. Erin's parents have been more than generous to the point of insistence, I can't thank them and the whole family enough! We are staying at the fairfield in/Marriot, and our room is what I consider downright luxurious.

Tomorrow is the big show at historic Cain's ballroom! We are going early in the day to set up, sound-check, and get things in order. In a few minutes, we are going to dinner for some pre-show frivolities. Things are very exciting, and very fun. We hope and PLAN on making this project one of longevity, success, and family. We have the tools, talents, and hearts for it most of all. I can't think of a better group of people to work with, and this is one man who is aware of his blessings. Get ready Tulsa, Nashville, and the rest of the ether--Erin Ashleigh and a Fifth of Jack is going to surprise, enchant, bob your head, groove, and rock out. Mixing up the country genre like a good martini--this isn't country. This is music. AJ OUT.

Lines In The Sand

I was watching an episode of "House" tonight (which as these blogs go on will end up being a recurrent theme) from an old season dealing with an autistic boy.

I have had an obsession with autism since I was 10 years old. Reasons why are less important but I've been around it a lot and I've read about it for years now. Anyway. The episode deals with your standard medical jargon, multiple trips to differential diagnoses, and witty banter. There's a scene where House is looking at his best friends stuff on his desk. His best friend (an oncologist) has many gifts from patients. He points out House never gets any. Later on, after the kid's medical issues (besides the autism) are invariably solved, the kid on his way out gives House his favorite possession--his PSP video game console and then makes slight eye contact with House. This btw folks, is a borrowed scene...

A kid with that bad of a case of autism would never do that. Long story short, trust me in that situation that just wouldn't have happened.

Maybe that's just it though. We watch television shows, movies, books, etc wanting to pull or relate to our emotions knowing full well the absence of realism in them. Why? Why do we hope to find realism in the things clearly devoid of it?

Because like it or not, whatever kind of person you are, you want that out of life. We'll cross those lines in the sand that we draw for our rationality just to find one moment of the higher feeling. Honestly, that is kind of the best thing about existence at all. We should never resort to not believing something improbable can happen.

Maybe that's why the phrase is "Lines In the Sand." A line in the sand is so easy to step on, wipe, and re-draw...